Graduation Speaker : Mayor of Stamford Caroline Simmons ’01

Caroline Simmons ’01 returned to the Country Day campus to address the Class 2024, continuing a time-honored tradition of having a member of the alumni community share their wisdom with graduates. 

The following are excerpts from her remarks:

Service and Giving Back

My quest to serve began here at Country Day when I remember learning about community service from teachers like Ms. Donnalley. She taught us how to organize Friday bake sales and pizza days to raise money for non-profits and schoolwide walkathons and other community service projects, showing us that at a young age we could make a difference. This lesson continued in the months that followed my graduation from Country Day when that Fall of 2001, I was sitting in history class and learned from our Head of School that two planes had struck the World Trade Center towers. Like so many others, I watched in horror as the Twin Towers fell and remember the feeling of shock, sadness, fear, and anger over the loss of life, including a classmate in our community who lost a loved one. But amidst the destruction, there was a spirit of unity and devotion to service that could be seen from the brave firefighters running into those buildings, to the hundreds of people lined up at Ground Zero to donate blood, to the sea of red, white, and blue flags that colored our streets in the weeks that followed. I was filled with patriotism, love for our country, and a desire to serve. . . .

And now as Mayor of Connecticut’s second largest, soon to be first largest city (!), even on the days where you feel like you’re a punching bag fielding complaints about roads and potholes from everyone, including from my 5-year-old son who constantly reminds me that the sidewalk is too bumpy for his scooter, there is that daily gratifying feeling that comes from waking up every morning with the opportunity to make a positive difference in people’s lives. And the great thing about working at the local level is you don’t have to wait for change from Washington, D.C., or from our state government. Cities and local communities are increasingly on the frontlines of tackling our world’s biggest challenges. From climate change, to homelessness, to gun violence, to economic inequality, cities and communities have the opportunity to shape policy outcomes and develop immediately impactful initiatives that address the most pressing issues of our time. . . 

So, no matter what city or town you end up in after you graduate, I hope you carry with you the GCDS tradition of service that you’ve developed here.

This doesn’t mean you have to become a politician, although if any of you do decide to run for office in the future you can count on me for a donation and to knock on doors and campaign for you! But there are countless ways to give back and bring that GCDS service mindset into whatever you do next. Your service will not only improve others’ lives but an added bonus is it will benefit your lives too. At a time where so many are facing mental health challenges and increasing stress levels, research shows that those who give back to others experience better mental health, higher life satisfaction, lower stress, less disease, and longer life spans. Suffice it to say, serving others will have lasting benefits on you and your community.

Take Risks and Don’t Be Afraid of Failure

I’ve failed many times in my life. In fact, one of the first failures I remember was when I was in 9th grade here at GCDS, I ran for student representative. I remember being so nervous during my speech I totally choked and lost the vote, badly. Looking back at how disappointed I was at the time, I realize that if I had stopped there after that initial loss and given up, I wouldn’t be here today. Country Day taught me about sportsmanship and how to lose gracefully, and also how to be resilient and learn from each failure. Since that 9th grade student government loss, I’ve had many other failures, from failing one of my first Arabic exams in college, to being denied job applications, to a relationship that fell apart, to in my current job, falling short. But looking back at those failures, I realize that each one was just a stumbling block that enabled me to grow, learn, try again, change course, and get better. Because you learn so much more from your failures than you do from your successes.

Just listen to some of these failures that led to greatness:

• Taylor Swift’s first album was rejected and she recounts being bullied in middle school

• Tom Brady was the 199th 6th round NFL draft pick and is now considered one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time! (Apologies to any Giants or Jets fans here today).

• Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team and went on to be one of the greatest basketball players of all time. • Bill Gates initially started a failed business called Traf-O-Data before creating the global empire that is Microsoft.

• Comedian Jerry Seinfeld was booed off the stage at age 22 because he froze and couldn’t remember his joke.

Needless to say, if you have ever failed or stumbled, you are in good company. So don’t be afraid to take risks, try new things, and keep trying, even if you don’t succeed the very first time. Your experience here at GCDS has given you the tools and skills needed to explore, innovate, take risks, and learn and grow, from your Intersession and Diploma programs, to your Seminars and Independent Studies, and all the hard work that went into your Junior Thesis (by the way I didn’t even know what a thesis was until I went to college so you’re already ahead of the game!)— all of these experiences have taught you resilience and problem-solving skills that will help you navigate any obstacle that comes your way. The next phase of your life is going to be one of the most interesting and exciting times. Don’t be worried about doing it all perfectly and just as you have tried out all different activities here at GCDS, continue to try different things and see what excites you, and keep trying even if it doesn’t work out the first time.

Kindness

Finally, the importance of kindness and treating others with respect. This may sound trite and basic, but I have found incredible value in the simplicity of just being kind. Especially at a time when there is increasing hate speech, anger, violence, and bullying, our country is yearning for more compassion and positive social connections. Because, academic and career success will and keep trying, even if you don’t succeed the very first time. Your experience here at GCDS has given you the tools and skills needed to explore, innovate, take risks, and learn and grow, from your Intersession and Diploma programs, to your Seminars and Independent Studies, and all the hard work that went into your Junior Thesis (by the way I didn’t even know what a thesis was until I went to college so you’re already ahead of the game!)— all of these experiences have taught you resilience and problem-solving skills that will help you navigate any obstacle that comes your way. The next phase of your life is going to be one of the most interesting and exciting times. Don’t be worried about doing it all perfectly and just as you have tried out all different activities here at GCDS, continue to try different things and see what excites you, and keep trying even if it doesn’t work out the first time. Kindness Finally, the importance of kindness and treating others with respect. This may sound trite and basic, but I have found incredible value in the simplicity of just being kind. Especially at a time when there is increasing hate speech, anger, violence, and bullying, our country is yearning for more compassion and positive social connections. Because, academic and career success will only take you so far in life—but the real measure of success is how you treat people along the way.

Tiger Pride

To be thoughtful, inclusive, generous, empathetic, and respectful— these values have been instilled in you throughout your experience here and they are the most valuable traits to bring with you.

I remember learning in history class at Country Day about how the American experiment began when the earliest settlers came to America in 1630. Their community in New England was referred to as a "City Upon a Hill,” or a shining example that would be a beacon of hope for all. In that same spirit, your class up on that hill on Stanwich Road, has been like a ‘City Upon a Hill.’ You’ve brought model values that are a shining example that will live on after you graduate today. You’re inspiring role models for the Lower School and Middle School students who look up to your class, you’re positive role models for giving back to our community and demonstrating TIGER PRIDE values. You represent so much hope for our country’s future. As you move into your next chapter, I hope you bring these TIGER PRIDE values with you, we need them more than ever in our world today.